Just mere coincidence to be single???

2/1/2010,Saturday- A new year has begun and today somehow i cannot manage to sleep well. My mind was at the streets when earlier today, the images of couples lovey dovey around kept playing in my head. I started to reflect back, "damn,i realize everytime when there is an occasion like new year, christmas and etc i was always single damn i must be jinx"haha. Anyway i told myself that i cannot afford to be involve in a relationship yet, because experience tells me that i am not ready, most of my relationship ended ok but i knew the problem was on myself ; long term relationship never worked out for me. Unless, the girl is willing to bet on me but that would be a rare occasion. I learned to go through and i found out actually i am able to cope the single life. I have a lot of doubts on myself mainly financially i just dont know why but it is within my nature to feel that if i got the ability to provide and give the girl something, it makes me feel more confident. Ideally, i wanted to be the person to be rely on. Lastly, i think my new year resolution is to try to be allocentric and less egocentric. Keep the engine running YEAH!!!

Embarking towards graduation and working

Friday, December 11, 2009- the night always gave me the ideas to write.lolx. Well, the idea just came to me i had no logical explanation for it. I am about to graduate in one year time considering at the rate i am going. I failed some subjects and delayed my graduation, i am not totally sure if my future is secured or bright but i do know that my compassion to seek knowledge and to strive on still does not wavered and diminished. I pledged myself to complete my degree studies in a solid conviction that does not fumbled because i wanted to get the passport to work although knowingly my result was not fantastic, i am willing to compensate it with working experience. I do hope that my positive attitudes and my mindset regarding the course i am about to take will pay off. I still hold on the believe that everyone has their own uniqueness and is able to achive their calling with their very own attributes, although academically they dont really perform outstanding results. I hope i am right, the road is long ahead i must confront my weaknesses and go on improving constantly. I hope my efforts does pay off, there is no time for remorse for the past about my result although i am not proud about my result i always tell myself i still need to go on. Let this spirit of continual learning never die out like the flames of a raging fire forever scorching and burning with ferocity, with that kinda force let that spirit bring down any obstacles ahead. Mission: "To Strive and Never Yield".

Growing up?maturing?

July 11th,Saturday,2009- The night is starry and i am still wide awake. What kept me awake?i wondered usually i dont suffer periods of sleep deprive but today the night just doesn't seems to have the effect on me like they used to be. My mind was running with images and reflects the future of wat i might become. The thought of growing up just suddenly struck me. I thought to myself: Darn, the clock is really ticking on me. I gotta do something,achieve something out of my life.But what might be my catch?the question struck me like a bolt of thunder and left me dumbfounded. I am really clueless. What might be my calling i still have no answer to that. I often wondered do great man or women knew they were going to achieve their legacy from the beginning?like it was predestined for them to achieve noble deeds and create an admirable history?Why am i brought this world?living in the kind of environment i am?and why others are born in this world living a different kind of environment?is it fixed that u are born to be poor or rich,healthy or sick,living in a peaceful country or living in a war country?Growing up certainly means a lot of learning the way of life, i had wat i had today that maybe someone doesn't have maybe it is just easier if i be happy of my current condition and excel in life just like the rest but with the convinction of helping others that might spice up my life a little. The world needs more caring then i care for myself. The world needed a balance not just materially but also spiritually to decrease the incremental effect of destruction upon humanism. Hierarchys cannot be diminished but human socialism certainly will put a stop to the abominable actions done towards our own humankind. I want to be able to live a life to see this world become a better place maybe that's my goal for now.Let humanism prevail!

Is money the root of all evil?

There is times that i think i am able to do great things without any sort of intimidation and fear of losing but that time seems to be wavered when i grow up. I felt like i am part of a system like there is a higher force of energy controlling my destiny preventing me to do the things i used to dream about when i was younger. I tried to sought for an answer and it never came to me. I no longer had the knowledge of wat i should do?or wat is the right thing to do to be happy?wat is the force that makes me so?i wondered. Is this so called reality? or is it just the form of capitalism that makes me feel this way?competition is everywhere people striving for excellence and innovation for the sake of a better life is it good?When is changing going to be stop so that it is easier to adapt? Whenever there is a dream that i had it is always extinguished by the harsh reality that it is unachievable unless i deal with the subject of money. The desire to dream and think big is yet just another thought to be considered only when there is a solution to achieving financial freedom. Is it true?and how true is it?is there no way we can do wat we wanted to do without 1st eliminating the money problem?reality is that cruel?can't we have a better method to deal with reality besides having to fulfill the basic needs that can only be acquired with money?